California Dreams
My favorite piece written for the Daily Trojan. The Greek system isn’t all bad.
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College Editorials Archive
Scholarship up in smoke
A true story.
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Inside the Inner Circle
Winner of the Art Buchwald Award for Satire. Written in 45 minutes.
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Serving it up both ways
Who wants to see a guy waiter at Hooters?
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Traditions shouldn’t need a return policy
Winner of the Art Buchwald Award for Satire. Written in 30 minutes.
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Bruin bashing: traditional or tacky?
The beginning of my crusade to keep important USC traditions from disappearing thanks to PC blowhards.
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What’s Uncle Sam’s native tongue?
Emigrating to America? Don’t get pissed when government services don’t print fliers in your language.
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Round 10: USC v. Local 11
300 of USC’s 16,000 employees thought that free education, health benefits and above average wages weren’t enough.
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Colonization: new and improved!
European conquest of the Americas was bad. Get over it.
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Media moguls make us morons
On the idiocy of commercials. I still like this one. Look for the clever zinger at the end.
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Money wasted on unproductive activity
It always blows my mind that people will spend $200,000 just to get pregnant when you can abduct a child off the street for free.
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Bosnia deserves drastic actions
A terrible piece. I can’t believe I advocated detonating a nuclear bomb.
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No respect
My first published piece. Apparently I was pretty outraged about the freshman guide.
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